Freedom.

Often, I am being asked, why are you looking so happy?
Many times, before I could say anything, they provide me the answer too - "since you are unmarried, you can afford to be happy."
Is being happy inversely proportional to being married?

Sometime back, someone asked me again - "Why are you so happy?" and immediately, she filled in - "What are you hiding?"
Is really being happy a cloak on our inner turmoils that we go through in our worldly struggles?

To her, I simply replied back saying "There definitely has to be a reason for being sad. But why should one need a reason for being happy?" I got her frustrated and confused look in return. Probably because I didn't tell her, what I was hiding. Though in truth, I was hiding a lot that day and fighting with my own self and my circumstances.

There will always be some or other circumstances, a situation that I have no control over. Happiness to me is to be free of all worries, to let go of things that do not matter. That freedom where no situation deters me or holds me captive. It surely then requires a lot of courage and determination to break the barriers posed by such situations and be free to be happy.
How wonderful it will be if happiness becomes my life's default state! 

My Fav songs from 2011

After numerous attempts of remembering the songs during various antakshiri sessions, I thought I should put down the list here -

• Why this Kolaveri - After my mom got hooked onto this song, I realized its surely numero uno!
• Chammak Challo - RaOne - this one surely goes on top :)
• Rabba mai to mar gaya oye - Mausam - Love watching Shahid in this song....another srk grooming to be the romance king 
• Bhag DK Bose - Delhi Belly - DK Bose shall get a gold for India in London Olympics 2012 :) 
• Senorita - Zindagi na milegi dubara - love to groove on this song
• Khoya khoya chaand remix - Shaitaan
• Aa Zara - Murder 2
• Kun Paya Kun - Rockstar - A R Rehman is best when it comes to sufi music
• Sadda Haq - Rockstar - India's anthem for the Lokpal bill
• Phir mohabbat karne chala hai - Murder 2 - Hope never dies :)
• Darling - 7 khoon maaf
• Hawa hawaai remix - Shaitaan
• Acha lagta hai - Aarakshan 
• Switty tera pyar - delhi belly
• Hawa hawa - Rockstar
• Dilli - No one killed Jessica
• Saj dhaj ke - Mausam
• Character Dheela - Ready
• Abhi kuch dino se lag raha hai - Dil to bacha hai ji
• Teri meri prem kahani - Bodygaurd
• Ooh la la - The dirty picture
• Katiyan karun - Rockstar
• Bedardi Raja - Delhi Belly - the original namkeen song of 2011
• Dildara - Ra One
• Bhare naina - Ra One
• Isq wisk - Mere brother ki dulhan

The song that broke my heart, actually a remix....biggest flop beyond my imagination -
1. Dum maro dum - Hate the lyrics. Really disgusting and Deepika surely made it look vulgar. The song took the soul out of the masterpiece that the great Pancham da created.
2. Khwabon Khwabon - Force. Though its no remix but a remake but I love to hear the orinal tamil version uyire nuyire much more..Even chaliya chaliya version in telugu is more entertaining. But the hindi version again lacks the soul.

BTW .....Today, 4th Jan is RD Burman's death anniversary.Dear God! I am awaiting his reincarnation :)

Proud to be a woman

Another beautiful morning and I wake up thanking God to keep me alive so that I could rise and shine once again. I gather the newspaper from the doorstep and a quick scan tells me that its International Women's Day today. But I wonder what difference does it make to me or my daily routine.

As the day progresses, my thoughts keep running hither and thither, back to my childhood and teenage years and without realizing much, I was paying my deepest regards and thanks to all those women who moulded my being with their powerful or not so powerful personna and helped me be what I am today including my teachers, my aunts, my friends, my grandmother and my lovely mother :) whose mere thought brings me a wave of warmth, comfort, joy, protection and a childlike happiness.

Since childhood, I have read numerous stories from our hindu mythology and our Indian history about great women who wrote huge histories like Devi Sita, River Ganga, Maharani Kunti, Rani Laxmibai, Maharani Padmini- Queen of Chittor, Jijabai, Rani Laalbai, Razia Sultan. I remember them all today and feel proud to be a woman.

I am still thinking who among these greatest of women inspired me most. My thoughts once again, run back to the morning newspaper. As a child I grew up reading another kind of stories too. The stories of brides burnt alive, domestic violence, women dying due to lack of health awareness and malnutrition, women sufferring various other mistreatments at the hands of their own family, unbelievable acts of horror especially in rural India for example - accusing innocent women of witchcraft etc.

These stories always filled in me an anger and a greater resolve not to ever let myself become a victim to any of these barbaric crimes against women. It was this resolve that made me realize the importance of education, importance of becoming capable of doing what I wish to do and be what I wish to be and stand up for my rights to live as an equal in the society.

These stories of various unnamed Indian woman inspired me the most to be able to stand on my feet and I am glad that today, far more women in general, have broken the social barriers to carve a niche for themselves in different spheres of life and broken free of the social taboos and stigmas.

Angels

There happen to be the moments in life when we meet God sent angels but we are so immersed in our own little world that we refuse to recognize them. Especially in times of distress.
Feeling too emotional at the moment to write anymore ...May be later :).......

Boredom....I do not care!

I do not understand from where the hell people get time to crib everyday that they are getting bored. There is so much in the world to be explored, to be seen, to be felt, to be believed, to be enjoyed and above all to be done that I hardly can believe that people get bored so often.

To me, boredom is a state of mind when mind just refuses to do work or when I miss someone/something so badly that even being sad doesn't help me. A peaceful sleep, a conversation with God, soulful music, a phone call to my mother or a long leisure walk is what helps me to come out of my boredom.

And yes, I really do get very irritated when some people crib to me everyday as a habit that they are getting bored. So Ms Bore if you are reading my blog, you will know that you have been my inspiration to write this here.

Way back from home to Bangalore

5:30 AM.
17 Aug 2009
I am at IGI Airport. Reached an hour and half earlier from my boarding time. So I have quite some time to explore this reincarnated airport. And I am surprised and so happy to see this world class airport. Even the domestic terminal looks so cool, stylish, internationalized with separate food/coffee lounges(Its refreshing to see Costa Coffee and not the regular cafe coffee days/Baristas etc), Kids play zone/ Odyssey book stalls around, airlines luxury lounges, foreign currency exchange counters. I particularly liked the street like ambiance at Baker St. bakery shop. And guess what, I found an empty place at the laptop station where I have a power socket and I can easily connect to the wi-fi provided by Airtel to spend my 1 hour waiting duration.
If the domestic airport looks so chic, I wonder how the international one would look like :)
I remember my days when this same airport had no air-conditioning, dirty walls, stinking toilets, 1 or 2 food counters and that's it....
2 years back, my flight from Delhi to Bangalore (JetLite) was delayed for 7 hours and I had severe stomach ache that day. Once I crossed the security check, there was not even and empty place where I can sit forget lying down...So crowded it was. What a terrible day that was.
Luckily I met an army wale uncle that day. He not only gave me his seat, but tried to distract me from pain by engaging me in his war stories in Sri Lanka and showed me his photographs with prime minister/president of Sri Lanka and India. Not only that, he pacified the angry waiting passengers and took control of the whole situation to get vacant seats, complaint forms etc for the angry crowd. All this while he kept telling me that- beta, no matter how tense your surroundings are, no matter how much pain you are in, do not lose your mind and mind works best when it is at peace. So keep patience and try to be cool and half your pain will be gone.
He truly was a gem.
I feel proud of our Indian Army whenever I remember him. Sad I do not have his contact number :( Has he also been to this same modernized Delhi airport? I wonder!

Many a times we meet people at strange places who leave a great impact on us....but the kind of creature I am...I never maintain those contacts and feel sad/bad later :(

Why is it so hard trying to be me in moments like this???

Its one of those days when I wish to spend my time, the way I wish to spend it; when I wish to do things, that I really and actually wish to do; when I wish to utter (or may be shout) the words, I really wish to utter and shout.

Have I become so habitual of fabricating/ignoring my emotions, suppressing my negative moods (Hey this is only for these kind of rare days..OK) that it has become so tough for me to behave as an unruly/depressed/crying baby type of person (Oh come on! do you really think I will be doing that forever.....Oh dear! I am simply talking about this one day or this hour only!!)

For days and days, I have practiced the art of being happy, for no reason; the art of being able to laugh, without there being any joke thrown at me; the art of finding fun, when there wasn't any.

I think, I like to feel that I am a strong person. I am able to successfully put across my humorous being a forth, even when my inner self is in pieces. Putting up a calm and composed me in front of my well wishers and my loved ones when all I want to do, is to go to a mountain top and shout and cry to heavens and to hell.

Why dont I do what I wish to do in these moments? Am I scared of exposing my weaknesses in front of the ones, I love? But if they love me, they will not judge me over my weaknesses and strength? Or may be I think that my sadness will make them feel sad too. Or do I really like to think of myself as a strong person? Are these the expectations I have set for myself? Am I scared of failing me? Why do I try to be so strong always? I am not to prove any point to anyone. Damn! And yes, it is so exhausting, strenuous and even boring to be strong always. Also, its kind of cheating to myself and to those who really care for me. Cheating???....eh that's bad!!!

I think. I need a change. A break. Lets go home and sleep and eat and ask my mother to tell me a story at bed time (She tells me the same Lord Shiva-Parvati and Ramji wali story every time I ask)
And friends, do not worry, For I shall be fine soon....

A day or may be half an hour is what I need to again be that bak-bak/nautanki/happy-go-lucky beta Shalu Goel types!

See, they say, writing is a great tool to let your pent-up stuff out (only emotions and energy...what are you thinking;)??).
It works well for me..... Now, I know, every time I will read this blog entry, I will be rolling with laughter over myself :) and do not ask me why...

My Nails

Hey! Is there anyone else out there who has this strange problem?
Every time I cut my nails, they pain and hurt very badly from the tips. The worse part is I cant even grow them. The moment they become slightly longer, they start paining from the sides and in the cuticles. And gosh! they hurt and pain so worse that I cant even hold a pen to write anything for 2-3 days.
I am curious to know, does this happen to anyone else too?

Waiting for sunrise and this gruesome night to end

ATS chief Hemant Karkare dead.
Encounter specialist Vijay Salaskar dead
and 100 others killed.

I salute these brave and patriotic men while I am glued to my TV set watching helplessly, as the terrorists take over Mumbai gradually over the course of this dark night. I hear gunshots, blasts and an innocent man fell down on earth in a pool of blood. The TV screen still flashes LIVE.

I am watching the beautiful Taj hotel engulfed in a huge cloud of smoke and fire spreading fast as the beautiful hotel turns into a battle ground. The TV screen still flashes LIVE.

If this is real, I feel ashamed of my being. But for the heroes out there from Army, Navy and the Mumbai police force inside these 5 star hotels trying to restore the sanity back in humanity.

I wish these brave men go home and feel safe as soon as possible. I wish the night ends real soon and I wish all hostages freed and the culprits be punished.

Its 4:00 am now. Almost 7 hours now. Army successully sneaked inside Taj hotel finally despite the grenades being thrown at them by the terrorists. More army men have been called outside the Taj and Oberoi hotel. The battle is still on.

What goes into making dreams?

What goes into making dreams?

The other night I was solving some puzzles involving geometrical theorems and the number system. Next day morning when I woke up, I remembered seeing a dream in which I was flying in the air, sitting on top of a huge right triangle. (I was wearing a helmet too:) There was a big parabola in front of me, which I used as a steering. Then there were different pythagoras triplets twinkling like stars all around me.

If doing a litle bit of mathematics can do this to me, I wonder what Albert Einstein used to dream about!!

Strange

Yesterday someone asked me again - Why are you happy?
And I replied back saying, 'Well, thats my default state!'

What I do not understand is why do people have to look out for reasons to be happy? Is it so tough? I dont think so. I feel we need reasons to feel sad but not for being happy.

Om Shanti Om

All cool guys make some noise and say..OM SHANTI OM
All hot gals put your hands up and say..OM SHANTI OM

By the way, Is the hot chick cool or the cool chick hot?
Sab ladke rupa ki baniyaan pahanenge to rupa kya pahanegi?
American football ko football kyun kahte hain?
Superman chaddi pant ke oopar kyun pahanta hai?

No. I am not mad but I watched Om Shanti Om and I liked the movie so much that I got the virus in me....

tum bore to nai ho rahi naa..
..aap log abhi kahin mat jaiyega...kahani abhi baaki hai.

Jab We Met

Prologue
27 Oct, Saturday around 4PM
After coming back from US, guess I was dying to watch a Hindi movie at big screen. Luckily I met Utkal who was heading for US and the moment I said I wanna watch a movie, he agreed. OK! we called up someone for tickets at Innovative!! The worst multiplex I have ever been to.
Surprise! We got 1...2...3 tickets for the 10 PM show for some newly released movie.

8:45 PM
Lets go ...we need to go via airport road aur bhook bhi lagi hai. Dinner abhi baaki hai.
I am already sleepy. No idea about this movie Jab We Met. Never heard the name nor the reviews!!



Inside Innovative!!
What the hell...they dont even show a single trailer before the movie. Seedha movie start kar diya. Already itni neend aa rai hai bhai.


Adityaa's entry....is he dumb? Is he deaf? Why doesnt he speak?
Geet's entry....DDLJ style!!
But rather than SRK it was the coolie who gave her his hand to get in the train. Big luggage and Guru Nanak DebJi. I will also carry a big picture of Hanumaanji in my next journey via Raajdhani if I get the side upper berth.
Now you realize that the movie is not for deaf and dumb. It has got sound.
An understatement!!

"Bhaiyaa aap convince ho gaye ya mai aur bolun"

Shahid scores without speaking a word in his role of a failed industrialist, defeated lover
Kareena scores with her dialogue deliveries in her role of an irritating chatterbox.

The movie continues and I get so engrossed in the dialogues, interwoven comedy, screen chemistry of the lead pair that I didn't even realize when the roles of the lead pairs are totally reversed when they met after 9 months.

Aditya, the happiest person when he launches his project Geet as a successful businessman and Kareena as defeated lover, working as a volunteer in a missionary school.
They both score again with their superb performance.


If I write more here, it would be an injustice to Imtiaz Ali, the director and the screenplay writer of the movie.

Awesome chemistry, crisp dialogues with interwoven comedy, great acting, superb dialogues, a tension free movie which can be watched with family as well.

I personally felt that this one follows the DDLJ ishtyle, of course DDLJ is a masterpiece. But I would love to watch this movie again and again and again...for the dialogues
in the train when Geet and Aditya met each other,
When Geet gets irritated with the station master who speaks more than she do,
In hotel Decent when Aditya tries to stop Geet at the reservation counter,
in the bus where Geet convinces Aditya to elope with her sister,
...............

Man!! You got to watch this movie.

"Bhaiya aap convince ho gaye ya mai aur bolun?"

Life with an underscore

Dear Friends

It’s been quiet a while since I wrote to you. But the recent announcement of John Bipasha split gave me hope that I can still stand a chance. So I decided to bring an end to my “Underscore Era” to pursue John Abrahim.

It was a proud moment in my life when I accepted the “_” in between my name and a set of numerals around four and half years back. They became my identity and accompanied me wherever I went. They brought me accolades, exposed me to challenges, brought excitement in my professional and personal life and introduced me to a great many people whom I always looked upon for guidance and strength.

Ok! I am not going after John but I would be pursuing my career interests with another corporate. It’s a moment of sadness to part with all good things that Infy brought to me coupled with an anxiety and uncertainty over my next step.

I will miss the enchanting campuses, the gossip world of bulletin boards, my Id card, my Email Id with an underscore and so many other small things that I never thought of till now. Above all, I will miss the proximity with all of you.

Please do keep in touch at shalug@gmail.com , g_shalu2000@yahoo.co.in

Cheers,

~Shalini
----------------------------
This was my sign off mail from infosys. After getting so many appreciation mails from almost ebveryone for this mail, I thought of putting it in my blog!
God! I was so skeptikal to send it out, thinking is it too dramatical but almost everyone appreciated it!
Thanks everyone for encouraging me on every step in my life!!

Jhalak dikhla ja..

झलक दिखला जा
झलक दिखला जा........

hike!!

एक बार आ जा आ जा
आ जा आ जा आ आ आ आ जा
(Just testing how Hindi looks on firefox!!)

The Nasal Effect!

Ok!
So we are not talking about hypnotism or any psychic surgery here. But this is something which has swept off our beloved Swades off it's feet and casted an exuberant spell of wickedness in the form of music on "We The People".

Every 8 out of 10 blogs that I read talk about this. I guess the name has become a synonym to some kind of ENT disorder that may occur due to excessive pressure applied over one's skull using a particular type of cap(Golf cap..Is that what it is called?). This may sometimes put additional stress on nasal/vocal chords. ( Read nasal and vocal as synonyms in context of this post only!)

Actually the result is not always that bad or that good but it definitely leaves an impact on the mass.

The other day I heard this song "Tujhe bhool jana janaa..mumkin nahi". The immediate effect was so strong ki sunkar meri to aankhen kya naak bhi bhar aayi. SRK can now ask this question in KBC-
Inme se kaunsa muhavra prayog kiya jata hai kisi cheez ke prati dukh prakat karne ke liye
A. Aankh bhar aana
B. Naak bhar aana
C. Mooh me paani bhar aana
D. let CompaqJi decide the 4th option

So here I kindly request those people who write school textbooks to update the purpose of Nose under the section "5 Sensory Organs".
A nose is used for not only smelling but also for singing.
This will definitely give more career options to be explored right from the kindergarden.

Any guesses what am I talking about? I must be a fool asking this. But I hereby request you to pardon me this one time!

Bheja Fry

Statutory Warning: Idiotism can cause severe cerebral malfunctioning if exposed directly!

Kewl movie after a long time in continuum with Hera pheri tradition. Not that the two movies can be compared as they are totally different in their treatment and subject. But both of them are clean, neat comedy movies that set their own tradition.

Seriously, while watching Bheja Fry this kept coming to me over and over again-
I wish I were a football rolling up and down..and up and down..and up and down.... with laughter, inside the movie hall!

My full sympathies to Ranjeet Thadani as I have personally met so many kulbhushans, khardooshans err... Bharat Bhushans in my own personal experience. fortunately or unfortunately one such bhushan sat just next to me in the hall whome I so desperately wanted to say, "Boss! would you mind sipping your coca cola without any dolby sound effect?"

Kuddos to both Rajat Kapoor and Vinay Pathak for superb performances. A must watch if you are looking for nonstop fun except for the intermission of course! The movie also brings out the hidden talent of Mr. @$@#&*~ who rendered the lengendry Kishore Da's "Mere Naina sawan bhado.." (antara without mukhda) in such soulful voice that any music lover can feel the pain and cry in agony.
Beware Mr. Himesh Reshamiya! You got a competitor!

Faith..

What is faith? What is deceit?

Faith is mine. It gives me hope!
Deceit is yours. It brings me hatred!
How can i let you govern my belief? so I continue having faith in you dear friend. But faith is not blind.
Remember!

Walking down the memory lane...

..as if I am tresspassing someone else's private grounds. I don't even recognise myself there. Still I want to go down ..further down the lane!
The journey makes me feeling cold inside. Sends me shivers. Something is not right! What's there that makes it so tough? There goes this saying -
One of the lessons of history is that nothing is often a good thing to do and nothing is always a clever thing to say!
Some things are better left unspoken
Some words are better not to be found in any vocabulary
Some memories are better not to be relived
Look ahead
Stand tall
Hold the ground beneath your feet
And get ready to continue..
There is tomorrow!

Long ago when I was a small girl, 8-10 years old may be, my mother used to have a diary where she wrote important addresses, maintained household accounts etc.

I remember the following lines written on the first page in her beautiful handwriting in big, red letters. Whenever she asked me to bring that diary to her because she had remebered to write something, I used to quickly read the first page before handing it over to her. I dont think I knew what it meant then. But now whenever I feel sad or an emptiness surrounds me, I read these beautiful letters again and again in my mind.

"Khushi ek nanhi si chidiya hai
Pyar se puchkar kar bulayenge
To aapki hatheli par aa baithegi
Warna furrr se udh jayegi"
(This Barbie was clicked in Hemley's London in Feb. 2005 and the Barbie costed 140 pounds that time)

Love is Sinful and Divine

..Aaahhhh not another celebration of my cerebration!!

................The only sacred union between this blog and the title is that, I am listening to this song right now. (Shadi Jo Kiya hai tune to ab nakhre bhi utha- Barsaat)

After a long time I got some motivation to churn a few words out of my thoughtmills. What an eventful day in typical Onsite Lifestyle, that started with waking up a little late than usual...quite unusual for me. Because I always feel as if I have been cursed that on weekends no matter how late I get my sleep, I have to get up at 6am.

The day started with a noble deed!! There were these huge number of books in my house which I didnt know who bought when, where etc.. and I gave them all to the Croydon Library. Believe me the first person I called up so excitedly to tell about this, told me that there was this book 'Les Miserables' that belongs to him ....what....if...oh....no.....I mean...sorry...I didnt know...how could I...actually......uh....okkkkk.......??? %?~#!!! hmmfffffffffffffffff

The world is Big. But it's round!! Friday morning, 9:24 am, East Croydon station, Platform 2, Train to Bedford via London Bridge...... "Har fikr ko dhuen me udaati chali gayi..mai zindagi ka saath nibhati chali gai.."

This guy stood in front of me and says Hulloooooo!!!

silence

DINESH.. Tum!! yahan?? kab? kaise? kya....??? %?~#!!! And today Priya came to my house from Bristol. God did I ever wonder I will meet ol' pals like this...but God is great and I like surprises!!

So Me, myself and Irene no..I mean Priya..we went for a time pass to Whitgift Shopping Centre. Actually I wasnt suppose to buy anything...just like that...but on way back as usual we were so tired and over loaded with our carrybags that our feet glued to the tram when the stop came and so we thought of playing Tram Tram for a while!!!

The journey from Sandilands to New Addignton is very scenic. I am buying this zone 1 to 5 ticket since last 7 months but this discovery was made by me only today!! And there are not one but two beautiful parks on way that have got lots of swings for children.

So after coming back home, we decided to go to Llyod's Park!!
Played on swings, played on see-saa..played ..played ...played...played a tarzan-tarzan game as well...
Exxxxcited, after reliving a few moments out of our forgotten childhood...went to play cards as usual to 16, Tiernney Court.
Not only 56, but 29 is also a great fun when you keeep on winning and winning and winning....
Its even more fun when Buma loses despite his strategies, tricks, logics...bla bla...u know what I mean!! No matter what, Buma, The Uncrowned King, reigns the game with his indisputable logic.
The term is "Buma's Logic" - ye mai nai ..wo dono kahte the. (Pradeep aur Anurag)
(Dialogue source- Bunty Aur Babli...this is to prevent IPR)
(Uncrowned King - source Vineeth Mekkat.... this is again to prevent IPR)

Come dinner time...Buma is hungry..he wants to eat something. But everyone is busy playing so Buma starts cutting onions..1..2..3..4..5..6..7

arghhhhh....boss!! 7 onions..are you crazy..what are you going to do with them...

Buma: see I dont know anything. But I like onions. So I am cutting onions. Dont interrupt me. OK

Nikhil somehow managed Buma to bring the count down to 5 from 7 and Rupesh came to rescue when he utilized all in the yummy chana masala!!
Oh!! its Vineesh's Bday!! comeon...lets march from 16 Tiernney Court to 49 Fitzeroy Court.

Here is the cake...where are the candles? what...no candles?

Dont worry...Buma's Logic!!

Lights Off...action...fuf fuf...Lights on!! are yaar ye to ulta ho gaya...oh..koi bat nai..Vineesh once again foonk maaro yaar
Lights On...action...fuf fufff...lights Off..cut the cake!!

Now back at home!! I cant sleep...because the snaps from my last weekend's trip to scotland are so nostalgic...they kept me awake...To be true..there are so many snaps that it takes almost 2 and half hours to see them all...

You must see the snaps where Vinay and Adarsh are together, One modelling for Ray Bans, another one modelling for Gucci may be...both competing and showing off there modelling talents and Dileep in my pink Hat..no words for the charisma, my hat has brought on to his personality in the photographs .....

Over all, a nice beautiful day!!...but writing this blog took me almost 2 hours and its 5:15 am in the morning!! See I said I have been cursed with AIDS-W (Acute Insomnia Disorder Sometimes on Weekends)

Gudnight...me gotta catch some sleep before someone gives me a ring.

Not the engagement ring...I mean a ring on the doorbell or may be on my mobile.

Sunday 4 June 2006 - 09:49A

Got this in a mail today

Lot of things go unquestioned, lot of questions go unanswered.
Few words go unsaid, few go unheard.
Some people you want to be there, some people they never care.
The moments to forget, they keep coming back at midnight.
Some dreams are burried alive, some are born dead.
But the journey goes on. Thats Life.

My version-

Lot of things go unquestioned, lot of questions go unanswered.
Few words go unsaid, few go unheard.
Some people you want to be there, some people they never care.
The moments to forget, they keep coming back at midnight.
Some dreams are burried alive, some are born dead.
I continue my journey, I wish myself rest

Body..Emotions..Thoughts..Sensations..

My body is so young
My emotions in a turmoil
My thoughts so dubious
My sensations doubt my entire being

The big walls overpower me
The mirrors around crack with sarcasm
I can't find a door
I can't feel the need to desire

Life is leading me to some consequence
But where is the provenance for these thoughts?

body..emotions..thoughts..sensations..
I lack desires

eeks!%$@#!!

eeeehhhh!!
wine chocolates!!
what a bitter taste!!
But after eating three I can manage now!!
Now I have got a bottle of champagne with me which I got from somewhere. I want to try it....to know how it tastes...but no one is here to give me company. My brother says you need to practice opening a wine bottle first. Otherwise you wont be able to make it. So go and buy an opener and a wine bottle to practice!! If I will tell my parents about this, they will think their children have become wierd...if only they wud have ever come across this word "wierd". They are so simple and straightforward people and here are there children....trying to become adventurous!!But life is so boring otherwise if you dont have something wierd to do or think about!!now i have this wish that one day i will become totally drunk and see myself how it feels inside a drunk person!!You wud be thinking that i am fond of drinking and bla bla...NO...baba!! its just that I want to do all these things but since I am a gud girl and I am not supposed to do this so i am writing it all here.....

--------------------
Tuesday, November 23, 2004

My first blog!!!

Its fun to do something which you are unsure yourself!!
But let me try!!
Or who knows tomorrow I will develop some good writing skills.

Till then bear with me. At least this gives me enormous satisfaction that one day when I will die….If not on stones, then at least my words will remain in this virtual world॥Even though if no one reads them ever but still like this new VeerZara song “mai yahan hoon…..yahan hoon…yahan hoon …yahan……!!” (Yeah I belong to one of those species who take pride in watching all these movies that have the words like dil, pyar, hum, tum…bla bla and yes I love to shed buckets full of tears while watching movies else what’s the fun???)First of all “The Coral Island”. Why the name? That’s another thing which I am not sure but the name has a significance!! Whenever I try to develop something new in me….something really worth, I label it as “The Coral Island”. When I first read about coral islands in Australia in my schooling days in geography it intrigued me. Why ? I do not know. Because at that time I am sure I didn’t even realized what it means…just mugged up what was written in those books and passed my exams. Let’s see how life turns out! May be someday I will land up on one of those beautiful islands. Till then I will divert my energy here rather than brooding over what I lost or could not do. I will try to write more in future but now PERIOD
२२ Nov २००४
sg